THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!!
If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears
with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were.
When they were growing up; what with walking five miles
to school every morning
Uphill... Barefoot...
BOTH ways
Yaddee, yadee, yar
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it
and how easy they've got it!
But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty-something, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.
You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my
childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it but you kids today you
don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet.
If we wanted to know something....
We had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves,
in the card catalogue!!
There was no email!!
We had to actually write somebody a letter,
with a pen!
Then you had to walk all the way across the street and
put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
Stamps were 10 cents!
Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us.
As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also
had permission to kick our ass!
No where was safe!
There were no MP3' s or Napsters!
You wanted to steal music,
you had to hitchhike to the damn record store
and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio
and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and
@#*% it all up!
There were no CD players!
We had tape decks in our car.
We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished
and the tape would come undone.
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting!
If you were on the phone and somebody else called
they got a busy signal, that's it!
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either!
When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was!
It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your Bookie,
your drug dealer, a collections agent,
you just didn't know!!!!
You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video
games with high-resolution 3-D graphics!
We had the Atari 2600!
With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids'.
Your guy was a little square!
You actually had to use your imagination!!
And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever!
And you could never win.
The game just kept getting harder and harder and
faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was
on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off
your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!
There was no Cartoon Network either!
You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning.
Do you hear what I'm saying!?!
We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons,
you spoiled little rat-bastards!
And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat
something up we had to use the stove ... Imagine that!
That's exactly what I'm talking about!
You kids today have got it too easy.
You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted
five minutes back in 1980 or before!
Regards,
The over 30 Crowd
(Send this to someone you'd like to make smile,
Whether they are under 30 or not.)