The Lisbon Reporter

WELCOME TO THE LISBON REPORTER. In an effort to keep our community informed of what is going on at local and Federal levels of government, we decided to create this on-line newspaper. It is our hope that this on-line newspaper will help you stay informed so that you can get involved and take action for the benefit of our ENTIRE community. Thank you for visiting and please check back frequently for information about what is happening in LISBON/LISBON FALLS, MAINE USA

Friday, February 3, 2012

Well Stated: "Larry The Cable Guy"

Direct Quote from "Larry, the Cable Guy"
"Even after the Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints,
I have noticed a large number of people implying, with bad jokes,
that Cajuns aren't smart. I would like to state for the record that I
disagree with that assessment. Anybody that would build a city
5 feet below sea level in a hurricane zone and fill it with
Democrats who can't swim is a genius."

THIS CABLE GUY HUMOR IS FUNNY BUT UNFORTUNANTLY ITS TRUE! THE MANS A GENIUS!!!

Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in Our Country lately: Illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida . .. .. . Not me -- I concentrate on solutions for the problems -- it's a win-win situation.
* Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
* Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levees.
* Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?
Think about this:
1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

THE CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq ....
why don't we just give them ours?
It was written by a lot of really smart guys,
it has worked for over 200 years,
and we're not using it anymore.

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this --
you cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal'
'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and
'Thou Shall Not Lie'
in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians,
it creates a hostile work environment.

Also, think about this .....
If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone --
YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!

GET ER DONE!