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Thursday, February 10, 2011

Summary Of Life

Summary of Life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1 No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2 When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3 If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
second person.
4 Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5 You can't trust dogs to watch your food..
6 Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair..
7 Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8 You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9 Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.



GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1 Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2 Wrinkles don't hurt.
3 Families are like fudge... mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4 Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground...
5 Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6 Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy..

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1 Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional...
2 Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3 When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're
down there.
4 You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5 It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to
ask you the questions...
6 Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7 Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1 You believe in Santa Claus.
2 You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3 You are Santa Claus.
4 You look like Santa Claus.


SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is... Not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is... Having friends.
At age 17 success is... Having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is... Having money.
At age 50 success is... Having money.
At age 70 success is... Having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is... Having friends.
At age 80 success is... Not piddling in your pants.

Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.



Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.


Have a wonderful day with many *smiles* .